Don't make me say it. I don't-- want him to. I don't want him around. I don't want him to have you. I don't want you to choose him over me.
[His big stupid eyes well up with tears almost immediately and he turns his head away to let them fall and soak into the pillowcase. He definitely sounds like he's whining, petulant and sad.]
I wanted you, first. I wanted you enough to sign stupid papers that meant we'd be stuck here together until one of us cracked or disappeared!
[He doesn't know if that's even true. He has no idea how long this thing with Nanami has been going on. He doesn't know if he's actually the afterthought, here. Even after everything they've done together and how much time they spend together, he has no idea where any of Azul's hearts lie and how long they've belonged to someone else. He didn't want to think about it, so he didn't. He pretended everything was theirs and theirs alone.]
It's not fair. I love you more than he does. [Sniffle.] And he's still gonna win, isn't he.
[He blinks, more tears falling as he turns his head back to look at him. Is he seriously asking out a worm? But also--]
I thought... I already was? [It's sweet of him to ask more formally, though. And he doesn't know how to deal with that. He tries to shrink smaller, but he can't.] I mean. That's what I told Velvet...
[Lowers his head and continues hesitantly, looking away for a moment]
For the record....there was no one else. In case you were wondering. I know my words have likely lost a fair bit of their value right now, but I just wanted to let you know.
[It's so weird to have someone care for him at all, much less when he's this disgusting creature... but Azul has treated him so kindly. He knows he doesn't deserve it. He's an awful beast, a worm, not even a real person.]
...yeah. It's kinda hard to take me seriously when I look like this, huh.
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Date: 2024-06-22 02:09 am (UTC)[It's nice to be pet, really, but it's kind of hard to enjoy this moment when he's looking like that.]
...he tried to kill me cos of how much he... Yeah. [Grumble.]
I don't think you're "nothing" to him... Not that I'm trying to help the asshole out or anything.
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Date: 2024-06-22 02:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-06-22 02:41 am (UTC)Don't make me say it. I don't-- want him to. I don't want him around. I don't want him to have you. I don't want you to choose him over me.
[His big stupid eyes well up with tears almost immediately and he turns his head away to let them fall and soak into the pillowcase. He definitely sounds like he's whining, petulant and sad.]
I wanted you, first. I wanted you enough to sign stupid papers that meant we'd be stuck here together until one of us cracked or disappeared!
[He doesn't know if that's even true. He has no idea how long this thing with Nanami has been going on. He doesn't know if he's actually the afterthought, here. Even after everything they've done together and how much time they spend together, he has no idea where any of Azul's hearts lie and how long they've belonged to someone else. He didn't want to think about it, so he didn't. He pretended everything was theirs and theirs alone.]
It's not fair. I love you more than he does. [Sniffle.] And he's still gonna win, isn't he.
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Date: 2024-06-22 02:56 am (UTC)....can I ask you something?
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Date: 2024-06-22 02:57 am (UTC)Yeah...?
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Date: 2024-06-22 02:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-06-22 03:03 am (UTC)I thought... I already was? [It's sweet of him to ask more formally, though. And he doesn't know how to deal with that. He tries to shrink smaller, but he can't.] I mean. That's what I told Velvet...
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Date: 2024-06-22 03:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-06-22 03:25 am (UTC)Oohhhh.]
...Oh. Huh. Right.
[He nods a little, slow and uncertain.]
Then... yeah. Yeah, I... want that. [Ough, he's so nauseous. Emotions are such a fucking pain.]
I want to stay with you.
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Date: 2024-06-22 03:40 am (UTC)...
[Lowers his head and continues hesitantly, looking away for a moment]
For the record....there was no one else. In case you were wondering. I know my words have likely lost a fair bit of their value right now, but I just wanted to let you know.
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Date: 2024-06-22 03:51 am (UTC)[While that does kind of make things easier, he still doesn't like his odds.]
...Okay.
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Date: 2024-06-22 03:57 am (UTC)I think we need to have a serious talk. I don't want to push you into it right now though... When today has been so much. For both of us.
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Date: 2024-06-22 04:02 am (UTC)...yeah. It's kinda hard to take me seriously when I look like this, huh.
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Date: 2024-06-22 04:06 am (UTC)[Tilts his head slightly in confusion]
Not at all. I think you look rather cute like this actually.
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Date: 2024-06-22 04:08 am (UTC)...you don't have to butter me up, you know...
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Date: 2024-06-22 04:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-06-22 04:11 am (UTC)...Really? Everyone has always just... called me ugly.
[Hence the obsession with other's beautiful faces.]
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Date: 2024-06-22 04:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-06-22 04:22 am (UTC)...right, yeah. But. You still looked like you, though. I bet you were still beautiful, too. They were just jealous.
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Date: 2024-06-22 04:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-06-22 04:36 am (UTC)Good. I'm glad you agree! [Puffs out proudly.]
[Only to deflate a moment later with a whine.]
...I want my body back. I can't do what I want to do, like this. [pout.]
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Date: 2024-06-22 04:41 am (UTC)[Gathering Envy up and climbing out of bed so he can pad across the room to grab some water without leaving him behind]
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Date: 2024-06-22 04:51 am (UTC)W-well. What do you think!! Jeez.
[tsundere intensifies]
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Date: 2024-06-22 04:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-06-22 04:54 am (UTC)Hehehe boyfriend.]Come onnn, I know you know!
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