Heckin Game Inbox

[tothosewhobait]

[For messaging and continuations, beware possible 18+]

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[infinitecruelty]

[Grimaces like he's expecting a yank more than a tug, but relaxes when it doesn't actually... feel like much. So he allows it without biting Azul's delicate little hand off.

For now.]

I told you. I want you to grant my wishes. Multiple. I want to be able to come to you with a desire, and have you fulfill it.

[He places a pair of hands on Azul's thighs, his fingers idly tapping one claw after the other in sync. But there is no change in his expression, nothing to indicate that he has anything on his mind other than the business at hand.]

At no extra cost than whatever you decide you want from me. Like you said: "equivalent exchange." So, think about what I can do for you, and I'll do it.

[tothosewhobait]

[Slowly brushes his thumb back and forth over that ear, thinking over the pros and cons of that arrangement...what he stands to gain and what he stands to lose]

[infinitecruelty]

[Watching him quietly, having a feeling that if he rushes the witch, he may never come to a satisfactory conclusion. Plus maybe it's not so bad to get rubbed... he gets why dogs like it.

His tail swishes behind Azul.


Fucking up that blanket again.]

[tothosewhobait]

Well…I suppose it depends. What exactly do you bring to the table?

[infinitecruelty]

[Sighs. He should have known he'd be asked.]

Well, let me think. [And he begins to count off on his fingers...] I was basically made to be a right hand man, I'm a great listener, I'm a problem solver, I'm not afraid to get my hands dirty, I'm- well, I used to be a master of espionage, but I'm taking a bit of an unwilling sabbatical from that at the present, but that's neither here nor there.

[Looks down at his hands, squints.]

Oh! Right. I'm a pacifist, but I'm not afraid to kill someone. I'm a pretty good driver, I'm not afraid to take certain risks, I'm adorable, I'm actually a decent cook- [Yeah, it sounds like he could go on forever. Maybe you should stop him.]

[tothosewhobait]

[Pauses the ear rubs and squints]

…Isn’t that just a boyfriend, but with the added perk of occasional assistance with murder?

[infinitecruelty]

...

[Eyes darting around like he can spot a good answer flying around above them somewhere.]

Uh-...

[Blinks and purses his lips.]

[Opens mouth...!]

[Closes mouth.]

Hm.

[Crosses his arms and lifts a hand to tap his cheek.]

Is it?

[tothosewhobait]

[Shifts a bit on his legs, eyebrows furrowing in thought]

In fact…is there even anything you can actually think of that you want? Or are you simply out here making deals because you enjoy arguing? Your talk a big game about having me at your disposal, but do you have any idea what you would even do with me?

[infinitecruelty]

[Sits up on his elbows with a groan and a roll of his eyes.]

What part of "have you at my disposal" are you not getting? It means "Have you around for the foreseeable future-" [...wait, no, clarify that.] "-until I have a good idea. And also after. For when another good idea arises."

[tothosewhobait]

Do you even know what my ability actually is? You keep saying I’m a master scam artist, so you do not actually even have proof I can do anything. You are offering me access to everything you know you have with no real proof of what I have to offer in return. Basically…you fell for it.

[infinitecruelty]

Ah, ah! I haven't agreed to anything yet.

So did I "fall for it" or did I just get you to admit you're a scam artist? [Laaaying back on the blanket again, crossing his upper set of arms behind his head while the other taps along on Azul's knee.]

And on the off-chance that you do have legitimate power, I'd have you contractually obligated to be on my side~ Seems like a win-win to me...

[tothosewhobait]

[Moves forward, bracing an elbow on either side of Envy's head, before leaning in reaaaaally close, bumping his nose against Envy's]

You absolutely fell for it. And you did agree. You made an offer and all I have to do is accept. A verbal agreement is still an agreement, you know. Unless...you realized too late and are trying to do damage control?

[Lowers his lashes as the corners of his mouth turn up slowly, the smug grin obvious even in his voice if Envy cannot see it on his face from this close. The longer lock of hair falls forward to brush against Envy's cheek as Azul tilts his head to talk quietly right against Envy's ear, pushing closer and pressing them chest to chest.]

Either way, it will be me who wins. It's all right though, afterall....I am a master scam artist, right? So, try not to feel too bad.

[infinitecruelty]

[His eyes widen as Azul nears, pupils narrowing into cat-like slits, not entirely sure where the witch intends on stopping. He sucks in a breath through his teeth when their noses meet, his entire body freezing in preparation for... something.

When it doesn't arrive on the mouth, but instead the ear, he's able to take another (albeit shaking) breath, and mentally gnaw on Azul's words. There's no way he's lost. He didn't lose, he can't.]

A- [Hm, wow, his mouth is so dry, suddenly.] A verbal agreement means nothing. It's "He said," "She said," it's- it- it would barely hold up in court.

[Maybe he is trying to do damage control. The other option is to accept the reality that he's made the agreement to be someone's murder!boyfriend in exchange for the possibility of having his wishes granted, and-...

and that just can't be!]

I- I have to sign something. I'm not agreeing to anything without signing something.

[tothosewhobait]

[Sits up and snaps his fingers, a golden scroll appearing in one hand]

That can be arranged.

[infinitecruelty]

[Oh, shit. He figured he'd have to at least get up and go get paper or something.

Goddamnit. Of course the witch can summon scrolls at will and shit. Fuck!]

I- Wh. How.

[Growls and waves his hands.]

No, no. This. That- that wasn't. This isn't how this is supposed to work.

[tothosewhobait]

Perhaps we can find an arrangement that is more…agreeable…to you then? I am that benevolent, afterall.

[infinitecruelty]

[Roooollls his eyes. Look at that, they've come full circle!]

And we're back to the benevolence.

[tothosewhobait]

It was the most admirable trait of the great sea witch.

[infinitecruelty]

Was she also a master scam artist?

[tothosewhobait]

[He is so offended on the behalf of the great sea witch that there are not even WORDS.]

[infinitecruelty]

[Blinks]

...what?

[tothosewhobait]

...I am going to pretend I didn't hear that.

[Stands up carefully, pausing for a moment...he's been kneeling for a while and even if his legs don't hurt here, old habits die hard. Once he's confident his legs won't give out he starts to brush off whatever sand has found its way onto his clothing]

[infinitecruelty]

[Oh hey, personal space is his again. He sighs and rolls over onto his stomach, stretching out all his limbs with another yawn.

He hums, doing his best to seem unbothered by any of this nonsense....]

So, have I lost my chance at benevolence?

[tothosewhobait]

Oh? Are you saying you wish to sign now?

[Folds his arms and levels a stare at the back of Envy's head, not that it can be seen what with Envy on his stomach, but he's got that energy right now]

[infinitecruelty]

[Oh, he can feel that shift in his energy, the edge to his tone...

Envy's tail slithers proudly on the blanket, wrinkling it further.]

Are you going to deliver on your end of the bargain?