Heckin Game Inbox

[tothosewhobait]

[For messaging and continuations, beware possible 18+]

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[tothosewhobait]

Hmm...

[Sits up, sliding off the bed before smoothing out his pajamas]

I am grabbing a water, would either of you like anything while I am up?

[unpaidovertime]

I don't want to trick anyone or hurt anyone, I don't know that I have it in me. But I do have it in me to disappear. It is the worst thing I could think of doing, and I certainly wouldn't want to do it.

[From his spot on the bed, he sticks an arm out toward Azul, not willing to get up but reaching for him anyway.]

Ice cream?

[infinitecruelty]

Ooh, yeah ice cream.

[uh oh, Azul's got moody vibe face!]

Well, that's good. I think we'd both be pretty upset if you just up and disappeared on us.

[tothosewhobait]

[Relaxes a little when he hears Nanami say he wouldn't want to disappear, reaching out to lace fingers with him briefly]

All right...what flavors?

[unpaidovertime]

Most of them are next door, but the ones that were left. Mint chip.

[He squeezes the hand before it's gone.]

... Do you want to keep playing?

[infinitecruelty]

[Frowns]

Man....they're probably melted by now. Do I need to go get the others?

[tothosewhobait]

I have a key for your room, so I can get them. Just tell me what flavors you'd both like.

[unpaidovertime]

Strawberry. Anything is fine, though.

[He's back to staring at the fish in the fish tank.]

[infinitecruelty]

"Death By Chocolate" [He yawns, stretching out across the bed.]

Thank you, dear heart~

[tothosewhobait]

[Rolls his eyes with a small smile, stepping into a pair of slippers and grabbing his key card for Envy’s room]

Strawberry and chocolate then. I’ll be right back.

[unpaidovertime]

[Once he hears the door close behind Azul.]

... I said something wrong, didn't I?

[infinitecruelty]

[Sighs and rolls over to face him.]

I think you mighta spooked him, yeah. [Rubs at his face.] Sorry, maybe I shouldn't have asked that. But, to be fair, I figured you'd say something silly like "see what it's like to be a woman and stare at my own tits for an hour" or something.

[He goes quiet for a moment, and when he speaks again, it's low, uncertain.]

...You wouldn't really disappear on us, right?

[unpaidovertime]

No, I wouldn't disappear. That would break my heart and yours, that's why it was the worst thing I could think of. I can see breasts whenever I want, that's not so bad.

[He hesitates a little before turning the questioning around on him.]

... Is there a reason you don't want any wishes from him?

[infinitecruelty]

[He initially chuckles at that reply, reaching out simply for contact, but draws his hand back at the question.]

...No. [He frowns a little, rolling onto his back again and staring up at the ceiling.]

I just haven't thought of anything. [Which is kind of true, but he isn't really sure how or why. It definitely sounds like there's more to it, but he's hesitant to share.]

[unpaidovertime]

[He doesn't push it, but he does reach out to touch Envy again.]

I think maybe you already got your wish. The one you really wanted.

[infinitecruelty]

[He swallows the strange lump in his throat and places his hand over Nanami's.]

For my abilities back? ...Yeah. I guess so. But that was a whole separate deal. We made two, that day. One for me to have access to his wishes, free of charge, in exchange for my... I don't know. Eternal servitude, or something. And another for me to have my powers back but only if I swore to never use his face.

Which was. Obnoxious. Because that was all I wanted.

[unpaidovertime]

Maybe you should look at the contract and see what it says, maybe you don't need it at all now. You're here of your own free will so Azul isn't obligated to grant you any wishes.

[He sighs, looking at Envy with that same sad look he gets sometimes when he is jealous of what Envy has with Azul.]

He would grant you whatever you asked for regardless.

[infinitecruelty]

...Why would I do that? If we dissolve the contract, he-- [His breath hitches, and he shakes his head.] ...it isn't about the wishes, okay. It's--

[Envy recognizes that look, and it confuses him every time he sees it. He sighs and sits up, rubbing at his face.]

What's that about? Why do you look at me like that?

[unpaidovertime]

He isn't going to leave you. That much is beyond a contract already.

[His brow furrows.]

What do you mean? I'm not looking at you any particular way.

[infinitecruelty]

You always look so-- [He waves his hands, gesturing nebulously] I don't know!

When you talk about him-- or about me and him, especially. You always get this look on your face. Like a kicked puppy or something. I don't understand it.

[He turns finally to look at him, brows knit with a pleading expression.]

Are you not having a good time? Am I doing something wrong?

[unpaidovertime]

I'm sorry. I continue to wonder what you have that I don't.

[He looks away again.]

I was having fun, and I want to. You haven't done anything wrong. I'm sorry I keep ruining things.

[infinitecruelty]

[That... shocks him. To his core.

There are many other circumstances in which Envy would have loved to take this opportunity to rub in someone's face that he was better than them at something. Hell, there was even a time that it was Nanami's face he wanted to rub it in, but now that he's working on developing and understanding his feelings about this human... It actually kind of hurts to know that whatever is there isn't being seen by Nanami at all.

What does he have that Nanami doesn't?]

I don't know. I wish I knew. I'd give it to you, if I could.

[His voice has gone quiet again, staring at nothing in his lap.]

Do you still wish it was just the two of you?

[unpaidovertime]

I don't wish it was the two of us. Do you wish it was the two of you?

[That's where the real worry is, that's where he feels weakest.]

You two are so perfect together.

[infinitecruelty]

No, I don't. I don't care about that. I never cared about any of that. You two could have kept doing everything you wanted to do, he never even had to hide you from me. It's not like he put a damn ring on my finger.

He and I-- We only belong to each other because that was our deal. I was never looking for a partnership or a relationship or even a fucking friend, Nanami. I've never had anything like this before, and I wasn't planning on starting to, then. I had my own selfish goals, and-- Shit. I approached him the same way I approached you. He didn't fight me, he somehow managed to deescalate the whole thing and I punched the ground and I felt better. And then... I don't know! Everything else just happened. It all fell in my lap. He fell in my lap, literally. I don't know why.

I don't know what about me does it for him, but he's the first person to ever see me as I am and want to keep me that way. [Ugh, why is it that every time he starts talking about this stuff, it makes his stupid face wet?] I've never been loved before. I don't even know what it means. I didn't ask for it. Which sucks more, doesn't it? For you, I mean. All the hard work you put into getting him to fall for you.

[He hates this. This is the part that makes him regret the whole deal.]

I'm sorry it didn't happen like that for you. I'm sorry something so important to you had to be wasted on a cretin like me. You deserve it. You deserve him, more than I do. You actually knew you wanted to be with him. [He shakes his head, wiping at his face haphazardly and sliding off the bed to his feet.] It isn't fair to you that it played out like this.

[unpaidovertime]

[He gets up after him and wraps Envy up in a hug. It hurts far more than he expected to see the sin cry, and he feels terrible for making that happen as well. Even though it's not a good time to apologize for it.]

I put the work in because I wanted to, and I would do it again without hesitation. Now I'm seeing that I need to put more work in with you, to make things even, to get you to like me.

[He feels a bit more sober now, which makes things easier.]

I can't address everything you've said, I don't know anyone's heart but my own, and sometimes even that not as well as I should. But I know you deserve love. And I want to do my best to give you love as well, even if I'm admittedly not that good at it. I don't exactly have a fantastic track record of relationships myself.